Here is part of what will tentatively be chapter one in the Nerd Love book. Feedback—edits, possible expansions, questions, thoughts, etc.—is greatly appreciated.

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Intelligence

Part 1: Theory

One of the defining qualities of a nerd is that they are intelligent. The have a thirst for academia and expanding their knowledge base. Whether they love to learn about math and science, computer programming, social sciences or the inner workings of a theoretical fusion-powered warp reactor, their quest and thirst for data is insatiable.

Nerds are driven by an unseen force to devour and expand their understanding of how things work. They are driven to excel in their chosen field of study. The study of the intricate inner workings of a stellar body can act like the most powerful aphrodisiac. Discovering new applications for a mathematical theorem can be intoxicating. Gaining a better understanding of the bio-mechanical purpose served by the features of a myelin sheath can bring one to nerdgasm.

There are some nerds who want to learn whatever they can about anything available. Sometimes they appear to be floating around aimlessly, trying to find the next byte of information to process. They want to strip every thing down to its base unit and roll around in the sweet, succulent honey of increased awareness.

This is sexy. Intelligence and a thirst for greater understanding are qualities to be embraced and nurtured, fed by the delicious nectar of more information. The more one is fed new variables and their expertise is increased, the greater the rewards are, not only for the nerd, but also for those who inhabit the nerd’s sphere of existence.

Being intelligent does not necessarily make one smart. Intelligence is the ability for one to learn new information. Smarts is the ability to apply that learned information. One of the greatest stumbling blocks for a nerd is learning how to share that information without coming off as awkward, inept or without developing athletes foot of the mouth from one too many foot-into-mouth insertions.

But here is the secret. Nerds know nerds are awkward to some degree. Because guess what? So are they! The fact that awkward uber-intelligence can be off-putting to the ‘normals’ will not always translate as awkwardness with fellow nerds. Correction and clarification: It will translate as awkwardness but only as a mechanism of recognising like traits. This recognition of like traits can lead to the recognizer becoming schmoopy and d’awh towards the recognisee. The degree of success for achieving a state of schmoopy and d’awh within the recognizer will depend on your level of confidence.

If you are ashamed of your intelligence, that shame will proceed you. If you are embarrassed, that embarrassment will proceed you. If you have any negative feelings about your intelligence, it will be your downfall.

Remember, intelligence is TEH SEXY! You don’t want to be overly confident and cocky in the first step of self-love (That’s what she said!). But as soon as you begin to believe that this trait, which you admittedly find sexy in others, is sexy within yourself, BLAMO! You’re on your way to succeeding in the art of N3rd Love.

Nice side effect: You’ve also increased your knowledge base. Achievement unlocked!